Cafe Del'Aziz - The beginning often comes last

3pm Del'Aziz Fulham Broadway

It doesn't really matter where you go in the world; the human condition seems to follow a similar pursuit...

I sat at a cafe today - possibly one of the most impressive cafes I've seen (even if the coffee wasn't as awesome as Australian coffee). I would take inspiration to design a wine bar in a heart beat.

[Someone told me last night that I had clearly never really done what I'd wanted. I said I didn't want to turn my passion into work... that I wanted to keep work and passion separate. They said I was playing it safe. I said I never wanted to make my passion into work. That somehow that doing that would taint my passion. They said I was scared to follow my dreams. I think that there may be a mirror in front of me now.]

If you keep a dream a dream you can never fail but you also never know if you could have reached nirvana. I have somehow convinced myself that I was following my dream; I have now realised that this is/was indeed a fallacy. I have played it safe. I want to change; I feel stuck.

William: If you read this: do you wnat to go into business with me. Come to Sydney - and let's be happy!

I should give it a year or two? - Whilst youth is on my side and passers-by still hold their gaze. Why have I been so passive about something that I have wanted for as long as I can remember? Why have I been ashamed to think that seeing people smile is not a worthy career? Ashamed maybe isn't the right word. It's not about serving drinks... It's about diving in head first (after testing the depth) and honestly feeling like you 'get it'.

I am not an idiot but I am also not destined for academia. I could be. I can do it. I know that. Yet it doesn't come naturally - well maybe that's not true either: if you can be as lazy as me and do what I do then there must be something unravelling and ticking upstairs.

If someone gets infinite pleasure from slicing peppers and doesn't slice peppers because they are scared/ashamed/intimidated; then whose the idiot? If you squeeze a lemon don't expect apple juice... If someone asked me why I wanted to be a lawyer I could give a good answer: freedom to travel, order, control, job security???, academic evolution... I could convince you... I think.

If someone asked me why I wanted to own a wine bar (insert related concept here) I wouldn't nee dto give a good answer: I just feel it. I love food, people, wine, entertaining, success, personal success, family, laughter... travel, job security, evolution... If you want it, you can have. As Dad always said: if you love something you will spend time with it. I believe this whole heartedly yet fail to practice this!

I don't feel a need to justify it. I don't need your approval. It makes me glow: inside and out. I want those I love to stand by me. As they always have.

Anyway, I digress: the human condition; the human endeavour... So I am sitting here at this cafe and happen to sit across from two obviously well-to-do Australian girls... thay talk about travels, boyfriends, interview processes [the STAR method], the flight back home, how strange it is to travel to the other side of the world and run into other Australians. When you think about it, it's not that strange. And really it's just heuristics. If you didn't run into them you wouldn't know...

It's easy to promote something when you believe it. Especially yourself: even without words. Honesty speaks for itself. I head to Oxford tomorrow to see Sammy. It has been months since I have seen him and it will be good to catch up. I will sign off my saying that the staff at Del'Aziz are beautiful and it is this cafe that made me nearly cry [for real] as it made me see what I really want. Now I need to figure out how to get it.

p.s. I am still enrolled in Law School and still find pleasure in it. Hehehe. Just gotta start thinking smart. I know that this is a very self indulged post and quite myopic in outlook but I do think that only when we feel we are pursuing happiness and feeling well can we honestly give to others and look for greater gains. Maybe it's a symbyotic relationship?

Love Jender